Friday, April 30, 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Purple Lady

I feel purple like the lady in the graffiti art on a train that I photographed.  I call it a moving art show and try to photograph as many cars as possible.  Once in a while I'm lucky enough to grab a shot when the cars are still, but usually I have to hope for some luck as I point and shoot while the train speeds by.  Anyhow...I'm in a purple mood, feeling black and blue bruised by life and the frustrations it sends at times.

I can't define it, I can't understand's a sun shiney day with blue skies and wisps of white clouds.  It's spring!  It's robin's chirping as they cock their heads listening.  Like the robin, I'm listening too, but I'm not hearing the sounds I long for or want to hear.  So I listen to sappy music, write, and try to keep reminding myself that I am awash in blessings. 

It's good I'm alone this afternoon... I think I could be a real bitch right now.  Maybe I need these purple times to cleanse my soul, my spirit, my heart of lingering fragments of unexplored hours and days. 

If I had a glass of wine, I'd raise it in a salute to purple ladies, unknown graffiti artists, and brighter days to come.       

Sunday, April 18, 2010

A Needy Relationship

You sit across from me in an intimate setting. Face to face, we’ve attained a symbiotic relationship. I need you and you would be nothing without me. Within your vast mind you hold so much of my life…so much that while you were gone, I began to wonder if I’d given you too much power.

During this last month, I’ve gone to the mattress for you repeatedly. I searched every inch of you to find what was bothering you. You know too much about me, you hold my dreams and my secrets. I’ve cried out in anger, frustration, and sorrow to you. And yes, you know what makes me supremely happy and what causes my laughter to filter out into the world. Imagine my shock when I learned that you’d allowed a stranger to come into our private world.

No matter what I tried I could not pry the interloper from you, so I had to take drastic measures to get our relationship back where it belongs. I sent you away.

Oh how I missed you. I missed your humming and blinking lights. I missed all the friends you brought to me. I missed the words and photographs that I’d become so enamored with over the months and years. I pondered missed opportunities and easy-access information. I missed MS Word! What? I have to use a pen and notebook to write articles? Who will check my spelling? Who will remind me to watch my comma usage? I have to count words myself? Word always did all those things for me!

While you were gone, I continued photographing but became frustrated realizing that I had no photo program to upload them to. The instant gratification of viewing my photographs through you had spoiled me. Then while walking one morning, my iPod stopped playing my favorite tunes. Who was going to rejuvenate the battery and hook me up with music?

Despair took over and I turned to an old love…Sex and the City. While you were gone I made my way through Seasons One, Two, Three, Five, Six and the movie. I admit to wiping drool from my face each time I got a glimpse of Carrie’s laptop, but I lost myself in the fun, fashion, and seductive scenes. In between Carrie’s flirtations and frustrations with Mr. Big, I’d check on you.

“We’ll have it done in a day or so,” said the voice from the other end.

“Please call me when you’re finished.” I’d reply sounding more than a bit pathetic.

Then I waited. To make a long story short, I called every other day, brought you home only to have to take you back when I could see that you were hanging on to the intruder even after spending days away.

Lack of communication led to a longer stay. The anger grew and the frustration mounted after phoning and receiving little reassurance that all would be well. It took several harried phone calls in one day to finally get you back. I must say, you look fine indeed. We’re back to sharing again, except now I must figure out how to take back some of my life because this dependent relationship needs a bit more readjustment.